Introduction to Level 5

Conflict in simple terms, is when I want one thing, and you want something else. In appearance it may look like a friendly discussion, as two friends decide what movie they'd like to go and see; or it may look like 'armageddon', with one group or culture (or individual) inflicting pain or mayhem on another. We usually try to rationalise it - 'he done me wrong!' - now he's going to pay; they're the aggressor, they need to be taught a lesson; you're doing it wrong, you need to be straightened out, and I'm the man to do it… Or sometimes we react to something he said, with no thought of rationalisation - we just respond to an inner impulse or feeling eg of anger or fear or rage - and our response allows us to vent that feeling and may also stop what he was doing - if he was intimidated or scared enough; of course it may not stop, and things may escalate…

Conflict, of itself, isn't bad or evil; it's just a normal human process whereby we try to get our (real) human needs met. Anger, of itself, isn't bad or evil, it's a normal human process that allows us as human beings to respond to perceived dangers and defend ourselves from threat or harm.

The problem of course is to find the appropriate level of response. And how do we pick our way through this minefield of doubts, fears and mistrust? What is an appropriate way of 'doing' conflict? What is an appropriate response if I feel threatened or wronged? How do I say what I want in order to get my needs met?

Some ideas that may help…

Level - 5 Meetings

5-1 Conflict and Me
5-2 Projections and Dumping
5-3 Denial
5-4 Resolving Conflict
5-5 When it all craps out…